i am lucky........

I am Lucky…..

because………..

I am not suffering from a serious illness and there is absolutely NO reason why it should happen to many I know and not me!

my Mom wins the best Mom award each year at every imaginary contest that I organize in my fantasy land .. and I know I didn’t do anything special to deserve the unconditional love…..

I have had the opportunity to learn and develop myself because of the privileged upbringing that I have received but getting it was absolutely a result of a toss of dice that I did not even roll

I have a good job where I am learning and enjoying myself ….. and I know there are many people as and more capable than me in this world who are not employed

I am living in luxury and enjoying finer things in life and also taking it for granted.. and I know people just like me in who lost everything due to the will of nature.. Tsunami, Gujrat and Latur Earthquake, Hurricane Katrina…….

I earn my living by typing on a keyboard or talking for most part of the work day (when I am not pretending to think..) and I know of people for whom there is a direct relation to the Rupees they earn and the Kgs they lift….

I fly every other week and I am still not one of the ill fated passengers who loose their lives in an air crash!

I have the resources to call up my loved ones at any time of the day or night and talk to them as long as my heart desires (or cell phone battery runs out!..) … and I know that there are many around me who have lost their loved ones …. Forever……..

I recently lost my laptop and some other belongings in a theft where my car was broken into while I was visiting a foreign country on work.. but my passport was not in there (although it had been in the bag all of two weeks prior to this ‘’ill fated’ or LUCKY DAY..

I have been in love!..

I am single……

I am not the perfect person to take this arduous journey of life but… this world still gives me a chance..

I am lucky because I AM!!

it felt like leaving home..

I felt I have left home.. but I was only there for 2 days.. never been there before but yet my weekend destination felt home.. i did not do much.. did not freak out the way i do in calcutta but it still felt home.. i was very upset leaving..

.. hmm it must be the people.. i was with some good friends.. and they gave me instantly a home in middle of NOWHERE..

God bless my friends,.. (b) - you might need fresh ppl to root for you but some old ones ALWAYS will..

this monday is only good because it shares a wall with Sunday.. :)..

...........

Dont loose yourself...

It is my keen desire to be able to stand up at age 40 and say:

Look I am successful and happy! but i havent done things the way people asked me to or thought it is typical of successful and happy people!.. i have done it my way.. good or bad .. i have not lost myself to my dreams..

everyday in this ever so dynamic world i find myself as an alien who cannot comprehend the things around him completely.. there is a wave of 'pressure' for him to do what is WARRANTED in that moment to be good in the role he is playing. but doing that would make me NOT happy as i for some reason believe its not me.. if i do it..

in such times i dont know what special strength i get.. from where i get it .. but I am able to stand up for myself and look at people, situations and sometimes even my own desires in the eye and tell them to take a hike.. i will do it my way.. and NOT land on the highway!..

i am writing all this because i am still an optimist in life.. i believe that good happens to good.. however not that bad happens to bad ppl.. rather there are things in life NO ONE deserves.. and that is where i see god as UNFAIR.. i wish that i can aleviate someone's sorrows.. but when i contemplate that it might mean increasinig mine.. I flinch.. i hope that god will give me strength in the days to come to HOPE that all the BAD that needs to happen happens to me and others are spared of it.. (that is something i hope to achieve someday) ... but all this aside as i am digressing from my main point

as i am an optimist i believe that even doing things my way and not compromising on my values i would be able to achieve my dreams (i have lofty dreams, personal or professional...)

i am hoping that i am right because otherwise the win the victory will not be worth it.. because i wont be me while celebrating it.... i will just be a typical successful man........

this note is essentially a thank you note to my parents and family for driving some values in me (how LORD knows) that make me really proud of the way I look at things... some think of it to be archaic but that is ok .. and i am proud of many such people also....

every man to himself..

i shall not change.. because i know i am something.. and also that the path I am following is the only sure shot way of keeping a comparatively blank register of regrets in life.. because as I said.. what to morrow has in store for u even today doesnt know.. so treat every moment as your last and have not regrets.. u might not have time later to even express them .. forget correcting them..

I am scared like a DUST!

a speck of dust on the busy Chowringhee crossing in Calcutta is under the constant threat of being spat upon by a Pan chewing Rickshaw driver or the Businessman who just got a call when his mouth was 'full' .... this fear is so similar to the fear of a common man being looked down upon by everyone around .....be it a rich chap or poor, he feels that everyone around him is scheming just to make his life more painful than it already is.....the fear is of people.........very typical of most people living in this part of the world.....why?...i am still thinking and your comments will help...

a speck of dust hidden in a crevice on the pavement of Crown Pointe Parkway in Atlanta is scared that the shrub trimming vehicle will suck it out while sucking the dead leaves and cut shrubs. it is not scared of other people trampling on it...because people hardly walk the pavement. However it is petrified that the 'system' will weed it out and make it a part of history.....the people here are also more wary of the implications the systems, irreversible processes (such as offshoring) and rules have on their lives....they are more at ease about the neighbour not being their biggest problem......unlike the dust in Kolkata.....

a speck of dust stuck in the rail lining of the sliding door of an elevator of a 100 storeyed building is scared that it will be uncerimoniously unloaded onto a floor that is not its first choice, where cleaning is regular, people are allergic to dust and will NOT tolerate it.. this speck of dust is so typical of all the people that use this elevator... they are all pawns in this worldly game and they are all the time scared that they are not forced to exit on a floor that is not their best choice. .. be it the Janitor who is thinking of how to get the out of the double mortgage trap that he has because of his son's college dream.. the Sales chap who is shit scared about he not meeting his targets and loosing his commission.. the CFO who is worried of some1 finding out about his latest book dressing!.. the FedEx chap who is thinking of her impending divorce while riding upto the 69th floor..

democracy causes killings..democracies also prevent massacre

THE VIEWS BELOW ARE MINE ONLY. ......AND MAYBE INCORRECT


In India we have widespread crimes based on religious fundamentalism..organizations express their open hatred and animosity towards people of other religions..

In US there is a lot of undercurrent HATE for colored people including Asians and Hispanics. This is manifested in Underground music and cult groups....

the common thread in both the scenarios is that the haters belong to the HAVE community and the hated belong to the HAVE NOT community .... so is it the fear of someone stealing what you feel is rightly yours the fundamental reason for why the HAVEs behave the way they do with the HAVE NOTS? My guess is yes. So an obvious solution is ensure that there is enough for everybody and let there be no place for any kind of feeling of insecurity emerging. The only way this can happen is by having a Capitalistic economy which allows everyone to perform to their potential. Have a democracy to allow everyone the rights to perform.

Both India and United States are democracies and claim to be the largest. One in terms of population and the other in terms of GNP.


So where is the catch..how come there are these evils that are soo deep-rooted in these two countries?

The answer is that a democracy and a capitalist setting is conducive for

the crimes to begin and
also great to ensure it does not spread like wildfire.


It is good to start these crimes because in a democratic and capitalist country the HAVE NOTS can dare to have tall aspirations and they try to achieve them. In this process the HAVEs get agitated and the crimes begin. In contrast in a dictatorial setup…u don’t dream of a better future hence u don’t piss anybody off.

A capitalistic and democratic country also ensures that the crimes do not increase like wildfire. It can do so because such an economy gives enough options to people to earn a good livning. It gives a chance to the HAVEs to become SUPER HAVES and HAVE NOTs to become HAVES.

So in jist, a country like India and US will have many such crimes in the days to come. However, none will be very big because there is an internal check mechanism for that.

The only solution I see is Capitalism! (thank you Krishna kumar..)

~kash

potatoes, body odour, a dvd not working properly, badly cooked meal......all remind me of something more!!

all these things remind me of something more in life..


potatoes: ugly (not so beautiful), dark peel which is SUPER thin to reveal the inside that is pure white and soft at the core...reminds me of many people who are very genuine, special and closest to me..

body odour: its the physical manifestation of your hard work ..that has not been projected properly...reminds me of working hard, very hard but people not appreciating it..rather they are a little sceptical whether i am actually working...so u need to work smart along with work hard....and the smart is analogous to AXE deo..

a DVD not working properly: reminds me of times when i hazily know what i want to do in the near future but i am not able to articulate it clearly....

a badly cooked meal: is one in which u have put in various elements in different proportions (that is obviously wrong) and the outcome is not very pleasant but still eat it!!...reminds me of ... a life in which work, play, family, friends are not in the right proportion and the outcome is not a very happy life....but u still LIVE it.

a purchase decision gone terribly wrong: you have put in money and now you will try and make best use of it (assuming u cant return) before u realize the futility...reminds me of .... time spent with a person whom u thought as friend but alas!.... u try and make it work for a while 'for friendship's sake' but then it fizzles out....

using public transport during rains: is like a compulsion that one has due to lack of better resources..reminds me of.. arranged marriage because u could not find love....

drinking and driving: reminds me of people who want to take control of situations for which they are completely incompetent...and they beg to differ...OBVIOUSLY..:)

self pity: reminds me of partial blindness .... you see only half of what u should see..u see the half that is convenient..the half that tells u how sad u r , how unlucky u r ...and u r blind to the half that says how lucky u r ..... to think what u r ..... living the life u r living.....

pseudo righteousness: reminds me of ..... a lot of situations in my life, not necessarily with me as the lead character.. and how i am able to slowly distance myself from them..

red eyes without drinking: reminds me of .. myself ...

a melting chocolate in your pocket that u would ideally preserve for later: reminds me of one getting into a new relationship ..... u would love to eat it now just like get to know the person as well as quickly...but then the chocolate finishes...just like the charm of the relationship if u hurry it up....

a happy family: reminds me of how lucky I am to have a family as loving as mine.. good

friends: remind me of all that i have done right in life to deserve and call such special people MY FRIENDS....

~kash

..its in ur hands..........

when i have a small thing going my way..it helps me get charged up and enthused about whatever i am doing for then next few hours / days as the case might be..... while at work it might be a word of encouragement from my boss or a simple bit of planning that worked for me.....basically i take signs in the enviornment that are positve and extrapolate the benefits i get from them into what i would get in the long run provided everything goes as per plans...good thing i guess.....but not so good during rough patches in one's life as i have figured out.

***

how do people fall in love when they dont even know what it is.....there is no standard definition for it.....yet ask anyone who has experienced it at any point in their lives and they will tell you that they know exactly what it is but they cant explain.....

i bring this analogy not to explain or demistify love.....it is to draw parallels from this phenomenon in many of the other very important phenomenas in our life such as success, happiness, satisfaction.....

this translates into a theory which states that u cant define or tangibly explain most things that are important in life. hence they must be a subject of our own individual constructs.....therefore we can state that these very important phenomenas are actually within our control...the way we define them is actually just a benchmark we set. after that we are just mapping reality with what is our own set benchmarks.

We get happy when reality is either on the benchmark or crossed it…and sad when it falls short of the benchmark.

So to cut a long story short…..it is upto us how we define satisfaction, happiness, success to be able to be all of it…..and have a basically GOOD life..

:) …..

self doubt....is good

when i doubt myself i actually challenge myself...it is good....so if i am going through a bout of self doubt more often than not i will spring up and do far better than what would be expected otherwise. i think i am havinng self doubts right now ;-)

objectives do not need to be same for synergy to be seen amongst people....there can be many different objectives of different individuals in pursuing an activity, cause. However what is needed is a scenario of no conflicting objectives for the synergy to happen.

stretching things 'too far'........ that in normal understanding of the english language would mean distorting the picture....however stretching things to smoothen the surface (just like a crumpled bed sheet) does not distort anything rather it makes it conducive for analysis, ponder.....and better action...... so its a good idea to stretch things once in a while......

saw a movie...wont name it.....made me realize where i might be heading.....right movie to watch at the right juncture in life....IGC.......for people who really know their MOVIES

these are some diverse and incoherent thoughts that were floating in my mind....now i can watch Larry King and sleep.... :-)

~kash

..the me ..as i want him now and as I know he is..

there are times when u desperately are trying to change something in you because it will give you some happiness some AHA :) in the short run ...it will give u instant gratification....but in the long haul.....u rather not change as a person....because you will loose ur identity....ur individuality, courage of conviction, respect for yourself, or whatever ....

sometimes one goes for the AHA :) .... and sometimes he has a little smile for a longerrrrrrrrrr time......becuase he resisted the AHA :)

i yearn to be that someone who routinely resists the AHA :) 's to smile for a life timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

~kash

ps: i am not drunk!

..u cant explain

i cant explain why so many things happen in my life....which i am sure is no different with most of us....u try for something like no man's business but fail....and then you can do two things..try harder or forget about it..in both scenarios I have seen two things happening..i getting what i always wwanted..and i not getting what i wanted..

now if u r confused..read again else continue..:)

what i want to bring to your attention is a little observation (still under study by me) that the outcomes in our lives are not subject to how much we want them in STAND ALONE but how much we want them in the whole scheme of ALL our wants. what happens is u might say I REALLY WANT to become rich...and mean it when u say it....u might work for it LIKE CRAZY..but not become rich because deep down somewhere u also want to live a SIMPLE LIFE and your efforts are in that direction also...so when you are ... say at the age of 24 thinking of leading a simple life of a rich man...you think that you can be some1 like narayan murthy of infosys fame..simple and rich ....but actually it is very very difficult to achieve both...so what happens is that ur efforts are cancelling out at some level and you dont even realize it.......

hope u getting till here........ i know i am not very crisp in my language .. thats coz i think too much while i think what i am writing...

ok to continue........

what is needed and recommended by me (under observation again..so now legal suits please)...to find out what are the things that really matter to you REALLLY matter to you and then see contradictions in them...some will be apparent and some would require fishbone analysis to correlate.....

once these things are done then you need to either proactively develop a system to prevent cancellation of your energies for the various sets of two correlated DESIRES or you need to abandon one of the desires....

this in essence would mean working out a plan to ensure all ur efforts u HOPE is leading you to your various DESIRES actually is doing so. you have to ensure that efforts dont collide and cause an ACCIDENT.

phew...enough!!..sorry for this if u didnt appreciate it..dont blame you.. ;-)

~kash

.. beginning ..

I am starting to blog..no, not because its in vogue but because i feel the need to talk to somebody now that i am REALLY away from home. ISB never felt away from home..

life has been really good to me and i am enjoying my work. the challenge of frontline business development is quite good..

personally these 20 days has taught me a few things..

1. in one's workplace and otherwise you will always come across people who are more friendly than others..it is important not only to be friendly to them but also to the one's who are a little stiff with you..you can easily manage this if you analyze why they are behaving in the manner that they are and work on it
2. most people are more than happy to help..it is our inability to ask that is a stumbling block
3. i have also learnt cooking..can cook a complete meal for myself in 30 minutes flat..how about that .. :)
4. being away from family and friends up here in Atlanta I realize the importance good friends or family members have in our lives..i resolve to cherish and work to make sure I am in touch and sync with my family and close friends....

so here is cheers to my new life as a BDM and as a bachelor living alone...both are completely new experiences for me.. :)

~kash